A Bad Case of "The Bleh"

Yes, Bleh. It's much worse than the Blahs. I might even be lying to you all by calling it a case of the Bleh. It's more like: angry-for-no-reason, irrational, unmotivated, and just a wee bit of sadish-for-no-reason.

That's why I've been absent. I've got "The Bleh". I'm slowly emerging from it on one whole piece. I'll be much better come next week...it's the soonest I could get into the doctor for more birth control. Actually, June 18th was the soonest. But my loving husband decided he's willing to pay out of pocket for me to go see a different doctor and get some so I have an appointment next Friday. I must be bad, right? Haha.

I've had ridiculous PMS since high school. I was actually diagnosed with PMDD and took Sarafem (rebranded Prozac) for a while which helped me get a bit better into balance. I haven't taken it since college though. As I've gotten older I think my hormones have balanced out a bit. I'll have my days but it's totally manageable.

My "Bleh" started soon as I ran out of birth control. The past couple weeks have been rough. I just put myself on a Zumba hiatus (I've been going 4-5 times a week) because I almost lost it and walked out of the class because the damn girl in front (beside?) me couldn't figure out how to properly space herself. She was all up in my space. I kept having my move myself to orient myself around her cause she was all over the place. I showed up early dammit! I showed up early so I could claim my damn spot and not have to fucking deal with that. I spent most of the class livid and not having fun at all. Pointless? Yes. Could I have asked to her move? Probably, but even in a good mood I wouldn't have since I am shy/awkward in social gatherings and never would have worked up the courage. Hahaha. This is what the PMDD rage does to you though. I am getting mad just writing about it. Lol.

In high school it was rough. I'd have two really good awesome weeks, then I'd have two really fucking terrible weeks. I'd feel such anger (for no reason!) build up inside of me I had banged my head on the floor repeatedly once. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for pharmaceuticals. And thankfully I'm not as terrible as I used to be.

And since I'm feeling a bit better these past couple days off work I'm feeling recharged a bit so I'm going to try to write more. Monday Weekly Goals will be reinstated! Also, I'm on a Project Life kick right now so expect to see some soon!

Anyone else get really bad PMS? How do you deal with it?

-Mrs. 246

P.S. Or this is all in my head and I'm actually pregnant. I'll definitely let you know if that's the case. Lol.

P.P.S. I've seen articles and comments before discrediting PMDD as a "real thing." Normal PMS is bothersome, yes, but PMDD disrupts your entire life. It's like having a mental illness for 1-2 weeks, then your period comes and you turn into the normal person again. You forget about it because you're doing so awesome at life...then it comes and knocks you on your ass. Again. And it repeats every single month for quite a long while. (But like I said, I definitely evened out a bit toward the end of college, thankfully.)